dripping slowly away
the tides recede
and I stand
alone.

I look down from the precipice
that is my life
and wonder where the tides go.

will they return to fill
my gaping soul?

or will the waters dry
to flow no more
and leave me standing
and breathless?

all I can do is
wait.

watching from my precipice,
all I can do is wonder.

© Jade X. Phatonis

I am all you need. I am your breath. I am your life. I am your best friend. I am your counselor. I am your guide. I am your comfort. I am your love. I am your song. I am your joy. I am your creator. I am your purpose. I am your strength. I am your hope. I am your freedom. I am your shoulder. I am your hug. I am your smile. I am your wisdom. I am your laughter. I am your peace. I am your calm. I am your healing. I am your light. I am yours.

I am with you in the storms. I am with you in the pain. I am with you in the hurt. I am with you in the shame. I am with you in guilt. I am with you in loneliness. I am with you in rain. I am with you in weakness. I am with you in grief. I am with you in tears. I am with you in sickness. I am with you in sadness. I am with you in darkness. I am with you in corruption. I am with you in fear. I am with you confusion. I am with you in suffering. I am with you.

You are my joy. You are my creation. You are my love. You are my hands. You are my heart. You are my smile. You are my words. You are my chosen. You are my friend. You are my fragrance. You are my light. You are my beloved. You are mine.

I don’t bring the pain but I am with you in it. I don’t bring the storms but I can show you the way to overcome them. I don’t bring the sickness but I can heal you. I don’t bring the circumstances but I am with you in all of them. I don’t bring the destruction but I can build restoration. I don’t bring the tears but I gladly wipe them away. I don’t author the confusion but I bring clarity.

You are mine. Your story belongs to me. You are my dearly loved creation and I want nothing more than to shower you with blessings. You were created to worship and honor me in all you do. I am proud of you. I love you more than the stars. I love you more today than yesterday. I love you more every minute I see you live. I love you more every second you take a breath. I love you.

Always and forever,
Your Father and King

Last Christmas (23 to 31 Dec 2006) Missing People received an average of 130 calls per day to the Runaway Helpline – 28% more than the daily average for the year.

On Christmas day Childline freephone service received 604 calls from children and young people across Ireland. Childline also received 42 to its automated text support service and 125 texts to its one-to-one text support service.

Nearly two-thirds of survey respondents said they have suffered from depression during the holidays, often to such an extent that they do not take part in the season’s activities. Depression and suicides generally occur at a higher ratio during the holidays than at any other time of the year.

So, please take a moment, visit the older people and the housebound, buy an extra gift and donate to somewhere like operation Christmas child.

Thanks

Its been difficult at work being the new girl and all, and I’m not “gelling” with certain staff, but I guess you will get that in any job, my friends have been so encouraging, popping in my work just so say “hi” or texting me just at the right moment when I need it.

I guess that not many people like their jobs but as I keep telling myself a job is a job and its bringing the money into the house, its a stepping stone in my world of work, still not sure what I want to do now though, I feel like the career in childcare I was training for before I had my son just is not right anymore, times have changed, all the childcare jobs im either  under-qualified for or am not getting past interview stage.

Quick question for anybody reading this that knows me, please leave comments as to what sort of job you think that I would be good at.

Thanks

While I was at work and actually grouching in my mind about missing out, two things came into my mind, it’s only for a season/one Sunday and also that I should be praising God even while I’m at work, even when I dont feel like praising in my circumstances, even when the customers are complaining, stick a smile on my face and deal with it.

I was running lyrics through my mind all day for Example…

Moving with the Father spirit and the son
Flowing with a power that’s springing out of love
That You’ve shown for me
When You poured out mercy
Choosing now to serve You following Your ways
Knowing that You’ve saved me calling me by name
To worship You my king foreverO what You’ve done for me
You’ve set my heart upon a rock
Washed and forgiven me
And now I’m free to give You glory

With Joy joy!
Lord I dance with Joy
Jumping in Your presence filled with
Joy! Joy!
Lord I dance with joy
Jumping in the presence of my God

Your mercy’s new each day
And shining like the sun
You’ll be my song of praise
Until my race is run

With Joy joy!
Lord I dance with joy
Jumping in Your presence filled with
Joy joy!
Lord I dance with joy
Jumping in Your presence filled with joy!

And then just after I’d finished work I got a text from one of  my friends saying that I was missed at church and that she hoped I’d had a good shift.

Later on I also got two more messages saying that I was missed at church.

In all its been a weird day but been trying to Praise HIM in and through it all.

When I was at work today, I asked about progression in the company, some might say that its too soon to start thinking about that, I know my mum did at least, but anyhow I had a conversation with one of the managers about an apprenticeship that they do, so I enquired about actually starting said apprenticeship, but found out that in order to start it I need up to date skills in Maths and English.

I started Maths adult literacy course tonight, its an online thing that I can do at own pace and with a E Tutor helping me…

Ive always been appalling at Maths, never liked it and never understood it, did the intital  test and I am now offically freaking out, the test was really hard and im wondering if I can actually pass this and just generally doubting myself big time.

I’ve got some awesome friends who are talking to me and pushing me to do it and just try my best so we shall see I guess….

Got there ten minutes before shift started to get uniform and suchlike, get handed my uniform and went to get changed, only to find that the trousers dont actually fit – GAH, because the uniform order was late I had been given the last pair of ladies trousers left in stock, in consequence the manager went hunting for a pair of trousers for me and then came back with a pair of blokes trousers, all that was left, I had no choice but to start my first shift wearing a pair of men’s trousers…

So anyhow, I got introduced to my “buddy” who would show me around and show me what to do, now on the other side of the fence so to speak you think that the staff have it easy, the amount of things that I was told made my head hurt, so many things to remember and things to do.

In amongst the various  things that I was doing this shift, I saw two of my friends from church, walk through the doors with smirks on their  faces and my first thought was “oh no thats just what I needed” as I thought one of them specially would sit and try and put me off working, but it was all ok, they both said hi and went and sat down at a table.

The staff all seem really nice and friendly and easy to work with, and everybody seemed to be trying to help as it was my first day.

Came home and it was nice to sit down and rest for a little bit, my feet actually really hurt by end of shift.

We spent a bit of time together at my house just catching up on how each other is doing and just generally having a laugh and a giggle.

But it was just so lovely spending time with said person as I really have been worried about them recently, just to see that they are OK and such like, they in my prayers and thoughts everyday and I know they have a lot of friends thinking about them

I start on Thursday, big step, nervous already, thankfully its just a small shift to start with.

I was pinning all my hopes on this job, it was gonna get us off jobseekers and everything.

Now i just feel like a failure and worthless, I cant even get a crummy Mcdonalds job

Why is life so unfair

*EDIT*

WHOOP I GOT THE JOB AFTER ALL